I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
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