Non-Jews are for practice
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
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