I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Randomize
