I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Randomize
