Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize