Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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