I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
barbara walters just said penis...
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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