Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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