May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
