But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
is wine microwaveable?
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
