Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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