I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
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I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
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How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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