My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
