i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
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