who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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