Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
