I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
i think i have two assholes
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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