I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
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