Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
