Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
