It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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