Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
nutella sex= disaster
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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