During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize