she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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