I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
