I'm jealous of your bromance
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
