it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
The ass gains better be worth it
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