If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
