Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
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