Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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