a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Randomize
