i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
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we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
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New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
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