You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
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Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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