What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Randomize
