you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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