Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Randomize
