You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
