I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
How external is "for external use only"?
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
