'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
