so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Randomize
