I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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