dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
And then he peed in my hair
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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