all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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