So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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