I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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