Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
i need to put some appletini on your dick
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
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