His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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