I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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