Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
