would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Randomize
