It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
It's Friday. Sex?
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
