Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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