Taylor Swift is so right about you.
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Randomize
