he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Randomize
