i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
