Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Randomize
