3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
