I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
