Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
