Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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