Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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