are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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