IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize