He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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