and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
