And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
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Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
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everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study