I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
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