I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"