I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night