and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year