Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP