Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(714): View more from California

dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"

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(956): View more from Texas

im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.

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(316): View more from Kansas

she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this

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23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
Read it at the TFLN blog
(757): View more from Virginia

hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...

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(312): View more from Illinois

Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.

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(925): View more from California

He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.

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(818): View more from California

Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?

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(201): View more from New Jersey

valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.

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