She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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