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• (561): View more from Florida

  Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.

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• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.

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• (480): View more from Arizona

  I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

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• (706): View more from Georgia

  lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.

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• (309): View more from Illinois

  stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.

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• (425): View more from Washington

  Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.

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• (715): View more from Wisconsin

  Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?

  (1-715): View more from Wisconsin

  Probably

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• (870): View more from Arkansas

  Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.

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• 

  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

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• (301): View more from Maryland

  He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid

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• (347): View more from New York

  You blew him?!?!

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  *Am blowing

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.

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• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.

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• (937): View more from Ohio

  How exactly does a handjob become fancy?

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  Blueberry lube, and champagne.

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• (831): View more from California

  Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?

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