highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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