i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Randomize
